Who Knows?

’Twas once upon the internet I chanced upon an argument;
A blog appeared to splinter into internecine wars.
’Twas all precipitated by a movie dedicated to
Portraying Darwinism as a truth-suppressing force.

A thousand comments did I read, another thousand did I feed
Into my aching brain, yet little progress did I find.
No sooner was a claim defeated, than it was again repeated;
Surely there’s a better way to influence a mind.

Oh Lord, I grew so weary of the cry: “It’s just a theory!” for
This charge is not dismissive in the scientific world.
And though this point was oft explained, it did not hinder those who claimed
That “Theory!” is rhetorical invective to be hurled.

My neurons whirled, my senses swirled; how did man come into this world?
I longed to take a nap, but someone said: “I’ve found a gap!”
And though the gap was quickly filled, there promptly came a voice more thrilled:
“Behold!” it cried, “I now have spied a flanking pair of gaps!”

And then, with logic so perverse it hurts to render it in verse,
The charge was made that atheism is religious faith.
And even Orwell would be awed by language so profoundly flawed,
For logically, religious faith is therefore non-belief.

To try to cast theology as natural philosophy
Is clearly what Intelligent Designers have in mind.
Their documented strategy to wedge their way to victory
Speaks volumes on the nature of Intelligent Design.

Though Darwin’s Evolution is an elegant solution to
The origin of species, still I hear some people say:
“There must be something greater, so there must be a Creator,” but
Creators need creators too; it’s turtles all the way.

And so it went, and so it goes, but how it all began, who knows?
I’ll check the blog tomorrow, just in case it’s been resolved.
And if, by then, we all agree on how the humans came to be,
We’ll try to answer how and why we lizardoids evolved.

(- Winslow fellow)